10 Things Damon Salvatore Loves About Himself
by Avis Howl
Summary: I believe the title says it all.


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own it.

**A/N:** I am in a seriously depressed mode after 3x09 so I needed to write something that will cheer me up. Hope it does the trick for you too, if not... flames are on me ;).

Read, review and enjoy your stay.

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><p><strong>TEN THINGS DAMON SALVATORE LOVES ABOUT HIMSELF<strong>

10. HIS UNFLINCHING ABILITY TO LISTEN TO TAYLOR SWIFT

Surely the thing speaks volumes for itself. I mean, not just about anyone can listen to that blonde scarecrow without flinching at least one time per second.

9. THE FACT THAT HE IS A VAMPIRE

Where to start? I get to live forever. Well, that is if I do not cross an original again, but you know me, I'm a sucker for living on the edge. I get super speed and amazing hearing. Strength you, trivial earthlings, can only dream about and most importantly, I get to stay looking just as handsome as I was at the age of 24. I know, nothing beats that one. Thumbs up for the eternal stud.

8. HIS CAR

Dude, no cool car, no chicks! Everyone knows that!

7. HIS ABILITY NOT TO CARE WHEN HE KILLS

That's a very appealing one. I see my prey (I usually go for the women, don't judge me). I come off as this sweet and nice guy (what's with the disbelieving stare?). Then my eyes darken and my canine teeth grow (you know the drill). And let me tell you, I am no sloppy maniac, such as my brother when he has a bad ripper douche day. No, I am thorough in my work because I know pretty well how a good human blood bag is hard to find nowadays. So, after I'm done, I simply throw away the body (maybe burn it, depends on how much time and will I have) and walk into the sunset, simply because I can. That and the fact that it adds to the drama.

6. HIS WAY WITH WOMEN

The ladies love me. But then again, who wouldn't love perfectly chiselled facial features, my gorgeous smile, my correct teeth (when I'm not in a special mode that is ;)), my divine body and impeccable dressing style. If, by some strange coincidence, that still doesn't do it to convince them (and I'm not saying it doesn't), I just use compulsion. It takes less time and I don't get to waste so many words on brainless bimbos.

5. HIS DARK HUMOUR

It beats me, why no one seems to get my sense of humour. Stefan says it's called Damon humour, but he's only jealous 'cause he has none himself. Anyway, I always try to make it painfully obvious with my brilliantly selected words but people are either deaf or something as equally ridiculous as that. Or maybe they are simply too struck with my mesmerising personality and dashing looks so they forget how to function. Yeah, that'll definitely be the one.

4. BEING A BAD GUY

I get to be the villain. It's sexy and cool and everybody loves me, because I can control my thirst and still get to be the bad ass monster. Seriously, I pull it off even better than Klaus. While he runs around, afraid of his own father like a chicken with its head cut off, I lay on my leather couch, make snide remarks and drink whiskey. Besides, I don't give a shit for what people think of me anyway. Whatever you say won't hurt me (but it might shorten your pathetic little life), my ego is bigger than the fan bases of Twilight, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings thrown together.

3. THE PRIVILEGE TO ANNOY STEFAN TO NO END

Oh yes, that is one I am particularly fond of. I was a verbally abused teenager (my father disliked me and totally adored Stefan instead). So for all of you who were convinced I am just an attention seeking psychopath... Now you know my need for attention is very well based. I think here comes the moment where I am entitled to a hug for my troubled past and aching heart. So? Who wants to give me one? _*people start screaming enthusiastically and jostle like animals*_ Thought so! Get in line people. You, yes you hustling in the back. You too!

As you see, I get the birth right to annoy my little brother. The next thing would be Katherine. She used us both but then declared to only ever really loved Stefan. Ding, ding, ding. Another point for me.

He has more victims on his wall of fame (exclusively because I never took the time to write my own down). Boy, it gives me great pleasure to throw just about anything to that sour face of his.

And then there's Elena. He sees me closely talking to her or make her smile and he loses it. Yey, I love my life.

2. THE FACT THAT HE GETS ALL THE BEST LINES

Even if the original line sucks, it still comes out awesome just because I am the one who gets to say it. I rock. Don't deny it 'cause you'll just be lying to yourself anyway and we all know where liars go to...

1. THE EYE THING

I am so wasting my breath, that is to say, my fingers writing this one. _*does the eye thing and all of the human population get jelly knees, butterflies in the stomach and drool all over its mouth*_

My point exactly!


End file.
